Much needed escape

Wisconsin (well, mid-west to be fair) winters are long and dull. You hear a lot about seasonal affective disorder (SAD) around here and I never really considered myself to fall into that category. I mean, I have my own depression because of grief but I never really attributed any "extra" to SAD... until we went to Florida this past week.

My parents are snowbirds and spend most of fall-spring in Florida. I never understood the draw of Florida to be honest. I'm not a huge fan of humidity and heat, but I really wanted to visit them, spend some time with them and see where they live down there. I wanted to see their house and meet their friends, just to see where they spend so much time at. We booked a 5 day trip for our spring break and holy wah, it was ah-mazing. (yes, added the "wah" for the midwestern accent)

First part of our trip was a non-scale victory for me. I was worried about how the plane seatbelt would fit. Our previous trips for the NTSAD conference the plane seatbelts have been tight, and sometimes they barely even buckled. I've lost about 30lbs since early last year and I was holding my breath as we got on the plane. Not only did it buckle, I had to tighten it. It was really good feeling! Progress is being made, even if the scale doesn't always reflect how I feel. I'm moving in the right direction and believe you me.. having a baby is a huge motivator. I'm ready to have more children and I know Greyson is helping me achieve this.

The middle photo below is my parents lanai which faces Alligator Creek. It's gorgeous back there. It's covered and the breeze always felt so wonderful. We spent some time out there (not enough!). The third photo is Adam passed out after dinner on our first day there.

The photos above and below are from Fisherman's Village. It's this cute little place on the water with shops and restaurants. It was one of my favorite stops.

We had lunch our first day at the Capitan's Table at Fisherman's Village and had 3 dolphins swim right past us! This little gecko ran right by my feet as we were leaving.

Below- we walked around The Vietnam Memorial, which is the same as the one in Washington DC, just the panels are smaller. The same names are on each of the same panel and it's in a beautiful park. Also- photo evidence I did some studying while we were there :) and a few more photos from Fisherman's Village. The beach was Boca Grande beach, a white sand beach in the gulf. It was absolutely beautiful!

We spent a morning at Babcock Ranch. They have a bus that tours their grounds and we saw so much wildlife. It was incredible!

More from Babcock Ranch

My mom's face touching the baby alligator. He was actually a lot softer than you'd think!

Punta Gorda has an Irish bar called the Celtic Ray that shuts down the entire block for St. Patrick's Day. Adam and I went to check it out. We had a few drinks and walk around but it was packed. We walked around downtown Punta Gorda and found a place for lunch and headed home to hit the pool.

Fisherman's Village one more time! Then plane on the way home. I was trying to find anyway to "miss" our flight that I could. Sadly, my efforts didn't work and we landed back in Wisconsin, just in time for a few inches of snow to fall.

Millie was happy to see us :) and then Adam and I went to the Green Bay Blizzard football game this past weekend. Adam got tickets through work so we figured why not! It was fun and weird to watch football in a small arena like this, rather than Lambeau.

I've been trying to catch up on my studies and my girl has been right there with me.

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Remember on a previous post I shared about grief ADHD.. yeah, I wrote that blog right after we returned home from FL, which was March 19th. It's now April 16th. face palm. It's been a busy month though. I am back in classes and everything picked right back up from where I left off. I've been working a little more hours while we have some people out and my classes are a LOT of work. I'm doing my first clinical rotation and it's a great experience but it's a lot of work. We have prep work and post work, plus the actual clinical work. The clinical work is the easy part, you get to see what it's like to be a nurse (of course, with help and under supervision) but it's so nice. You meet some amazing people!

I also just got back from the NTSAD family conference in Chicago! My favorite time of year!

This year it was an easy drive down. I worked all day Wednesday last week and drove down right from work. It was a pretty easy drive, other than trying to navigate traffic in the dark near Chicago, but I made 'er. It's so wonderful to see the families we've connected with in the past and meet new families. It's hard to see new families because it's fresh. I know how it feels and I hate that others are in that situation too. I hate it. I remember how raw I felt during our first conference but having other families take me under "their wing" helped so much. I want to help other families that same way. This year I spent a lot of time in the family lounge and enjoying the company. The sessions are always amazing, but meal time and the family lounge always fills my cup. We are able to just let loose a little and relax with one another.

Millie was a little unsure while I was packing but she stayed close by oversee my progress. During the commemoration ceremony families bring items of their child that has passed, and this year I decided to bring my favorite preemie jammies of Greyson's. I can't believe he was so small that these jammies were too big for him. I also treated myself to a Sonic after driving through Chicago's traffic. We used to have one in Milwaukee but there's none around us now in Green Bay.

Snuggles are one of the BEST parts of the conference. Below I'm holding Tatum, she is the sister to Harper who passed. Courtney is snuggle Cayden.

So much fun - I didn't take enough photos this year, so I stole some from others :)

This sweet little sass is Noa Greenwood- daughter of Lee and Lori. She is rocking Greyson's shift in O'Hare. She cruises with her walker and is a ball off gumption! I want to have her spirit when I grow up :)

Below is Crystal - Cayden's Mom and Adam with Cayden.

This was the set up for Greyson at the commemoration ceremony this year. His dino hat, his dino warmie, preemie jammies, name that Auntie Stacey made, and his dinosnores book from his Great Grandma Kent.

One other cool part of the conference was we were sitting outside and the moon was so cool- we were showing off our amazing cameras on our cell phone and you can see the craters. Another loss Mom, Jennifer, lost her beautiful girl Emersynn and created the Emersynn Isla Shining Star foundation. When Greyson passed, the foundation purchased a start in honor of Grey. You download an app and enter in a code and it shows you where the star is in night sky. It was RIGHT above us, it was so amazing.

The conference takes a part of me every time. It's so hard to see these kids and adults struggle with these diseases. It's hard to watch parents go through what we're going through, and it's hard to watch loved ones suffer because of these diseases. However in the same breath, the conference fills your cup. It fills your soul. It allows you to recharge and know you're not alone. You are surrounded the entire weekend with so much love and compassion. The weekend is full of laughs, tears, hugs, stories of loved ones. It is a place where your child's name will always be spoken. That, for me, is irreplaceable. Greyson's name will never be forgotten.. and there I get to be Greyson's mom.. The best title that I've earned so far in this life. Next year the conference is in Dallas Texas and I cannot wait.

I didn't take enough pictures so if anyone out there from a conference has photos that I can add please let me know! It was such a great conference and wonderful to see everyone. I hope everyone traveled safe home and I cannot wait to hug you all in a year. I love you, my NTSAD family- thank you all for being such a huge part of my story.

Now I'm home and it's back to reality. I caught some kind of cold at the conference and a feeling under the weather lately, but it is so worth it.

Xoxo,

Kim